The Blog O' Incoherence

Then (2003) and now. I wish I could take a good picture once in awhile.

So yesterday, I worked at my client's house. I lent him my XBox, so he could play baseball on it. No idea if I'll catch any flack from his grandmother or not, but I'm prepared to take it. He plays it more than I do, and since I won't be using it this week, I'd let him use it.

I also got my laptop yesterday morning. I'm typing on it now. It's incredible...huge (17" screen), but lighter than my old laptop. It also gets more battery out of one, than my old one did with two cartridges.

I was also able to record the WSOP, and then put it on DVD. I am a happy guy.

I went to Jen and Leandra's softball game in the evening. They won 3-1, and Jen threw four innings of scoreless ball. She said her elbow was killing her, though. You could tell in the seventh inning, when she came back in to close it. I know how she feels.

She actually made me jealous. I would love to pitch again. I'd suck, but I'd love to do it. I wonder if my arm would allow it, along with my chest. I never felt the same after my injury. Maybe I'll start working out again, and give it a go.

After that, I came home, ate dinner, and chilled.

Today's plans...

- Pack. Study = done today.
- Paperwork has to get done. This way, I can get it over to Keystone tonight. It's late, but since I can't get a hold of the person who needs to sign it...I'll deal with it if I don't get paid. It's not many hours as it is. I don't want to have people do extra work, but it's just the way it is.
- Go to Target. Look for headphones and a bag for this laptop.
- Maybe...MAYBE...take some stuff up to the new place tonight. That way, I don't have to tomorrow, and I don't have to spend all of Friday doing it.

Today could very well be a good day.

Well, I had an interesting post here, and then Firefox screwed it up. Keep up the good work Mozilla!

Anyway, to recap my day...I didn't do my paperwork. I should wrap that up tomorrow morning, and get it to Aaron's tomorrow. I did okay at basketball, though I'm exhausted. I played in two tournaments tonight; finished 2nd in one, 4th in the other. I have a headache and two t-shirts to show for it. I also picked up plans to go to New Hampshire next week, and remembered plans for tomorrow.

I'm going to bed a happy man. Tomorrow will be a busy day, but that's a good thing. I may be lacking in several categories, but I am happy.

I have some time before I go eat lunch. So, I thought I'd sit (lay) and write for a little bit.

The past few days have seen my luck change for the better. I have ordered a laptop from Dell, with the intent of selling this one. I got an Inspiron 9300, complete with Windows Media Center and the TV tuner. So, I'll be able to record live TV, and put it on DVD. That is sweet, and I'm looking forward to it. I should be getting it this week, though I messed up the address, and now have to get that fixed, or I won't see it for a month.

This laptop has been good to me, but it's time to upgrade.

I'm moving this weekend, and one of the things I have to do is sell a few things before I go. What I'm looking to sell is the following:

- a couch
- a part of a desk
- maybe a television
- maybe a coffee table

I should be moving a bunch of stuff tomorrow, and a bunch of stuff on Wednesday/Thursday. I have a van to move the big stuff, so that is good news. It means FREE (of course, some gas may need to be put in). I don't have a lot of things, and I guess that's a good thing.

This past weekend was a good one. I was out until 3am on Saturday, up at my new place. Josh, Geoff, Tiffany and I played cards until 2:15, at which point I took Geoff and Tiffany home. There was a tournament that started at 7, and I finished third out of 15 in that one, pocketing $25. I won $7 in the cash game (was a .5/.10 NL game). I played pretty strong throughout (it was four-handed, and short-handed is something I enjoy a bit more now), and was never down in chips the entire time. I had actually doubled up, but I did lose some of that on a couple loose hands.

My schedule this week is as follows:

Monday - Go eat at 11. Do my paperwork. Pack. Drop my paperwork off at Aaron's to get signed. Play basketball until 5:15. Go to poker at 6 and at 9:30. Come home. Pack. Go to bed.

Tuesday - Pack. Work at 1. Come home, pack. Go watch Jen and Leandra play softball. Try to drop some stuff off at Josh's.

Wednesday - Call and cancel everything associated with the apartment. Go to PSECU, order a new credit card. Pack. Hang out with Em in the evening.

Thursday - Pack. Work at 1. Play basketball at 4. Go to Doc's Thursday night. Hopefully get all my stuff sold by then.

Friday - Pack. Move. Pack. Move. Pack. Move. Pack. Move.

Saturday - Move the big things. Hopefully I'll be done by then.

I'll be happy when the move is over. Sad, but happy. This long, confusing chapter in my life is finally coming to a close. Not that I really want it to...but all things end, I guess.

Download of the day: acoustic version of Africa, the Toto song. Howie Day is reported to sing it, though I'm not sold on that. Well, maybe he does. I have no idea.

One last thought: I keep telling myself I need to write, and that I will write...but then I never do it. It's like I have this complex, which is part lack of ideas, part laziness, and part fear of emoting. This was pretty easy, and the writing has been coming a bit easier the past week or so. I need to start up my USBL dynasty again; maybe I'll do that late tonight, after I've settled in for the evening. I have 1950 halfway done, and could wrap that up tonight without a problem. But I'd also like to get into some stories. Once I have ideas, maybe I will.

I have limited exposure to him, but I think in poker, and in life, I have a role model.

Gabriel Thaler is simply the nicest poker player I've ever seen. What he said at the 2004 PLHE event, when it was three handed, was one of the more remarkable things I've heard at a table:

"Even if I don't win today, I feel like I've made two new friends."

The guy genuinely meant it.

This may be some of the ramifications of last night, and a lot of thinking...but I think from here on out, I'm going to strive to be more like him. I'm not really a "people" person, but last night I felt like one. It was one of the first times I really felt like I belonged somewhere. At Doc's, I must've had 90% of the players say hello to me when I got there. It's because I'm nice, willing to open up there. Of course, the fact that I've shown I'm a decent player helps. But it's a feeling I want to have more often. Watching Gabe play made me realize that there is a place for a nice guy at the table.

I'd like to be one away from it, too.

I sucked at poker tonight. And the boys lost to Harrisburg in the playoffs.

But goddamn, I had a great night. Best night I've had in months. And I didn't really do anything amazing. I just had a GREAT night.

You know what just occured to me?

I never wrote that I'm no longer moving to Virginia.

Instead, I'm moving up to Dauphin. Have a good place with two good guys, and I'll be able to live well.

Hopefully, I'll also find more friends and maybe more. I won't comment about the latter.

Anyway, things are looking up, and I think I'm going to get better from here. I am confident in myself, and ready to tackle everything that comes in my path. Considering the amount of things that have been coming into my path, I may lead the league in tackles.

:: PITTSBURGH (AP) -- A T-ball coach allegedly paid one of his players $25 to hurt an 8-year-old mentally disabled teammate so he wouldn't have to put the boy in the game, police said Friday.

Mark R. Downs Jr., 27, of Dunbar, is accused of offering one of his players the money to hit the boy in the head with a baseball, police said. Witnesses told police Downs didn't want the boy to play in the game because of his disability.


Police said the boy was hit in the head and in the groin with a baseball just before a game, and didn't play, police said.

"The coach was very competitive," state police Trooper Thomas B. Broadwater said. "He wanted to win."

Downs has an unpublished telephone number and couldn't immediately be reached for comment Friday. It was unclear whether he had an attorney.

He was arrested and arraigned Friday on charges including criminal solicitation to commit aggravated assault and corruption of minors. He was released from jail on an unsecured bond.

The alleged assault happened June 27 in North Union Township, about 40 miles southeast of Pittsburgh, authorities said.

The boy's mother asked state police to investigate her son's injuries because she suspected Downs wanted to keep the boy off the field, despite a league rule that required each player to participate in three innings a game, Broadwater said.

Eric Forsythe, the president of the R.W. Clark Youth Baseball League, said Downs had two daughters on the T-ball team.

League organizers investigated accusations against Downs before the T-ball season ended earlier this month but could not prove that he did anything wrong. If Downs is convicted of any crime, he won't be allowed to be a coach next year, Forsythe said. The league is not affiliated with Little League International.::

Did this guy have a bet to win the championship? And what about the police officer's comment? Could he lack any more personality and perception? Of course the guy wanted to win! He's HIRING KIDS TO BEAN A MENTALLY CHALLENGED TEAMMATE! The fact that this happened, not once but twice, makes me wonder a few things:

1) How many kids wanted to take the money
2) How many balls they threw at him before they connected
3) Was hitting the kid in the junk part of the plan? Did the kids just find that to be a good idea?
4) Will this become an ABC Movie of the Week? Or, since a man did this unspeakable thing, will it get picked up by Lifetime?

The only thing that doesn't stick out about this story is that it happened in Pittsburgh.

Goodwill Hunting...



I've always stuck to #1. I've always looked out for #1.

Now, there's only #1.

Everything I've done in my life, I've pushed everyone away. I tried to let people in, but obviously I either didn't try hard enough, or I didn't know how. I did it with my family, my friends, my teams, and my wife. Anyway, now I'm completely alone.

Em has decided to go ahead with the divorce. It causes me to have this range of emotions, all of which drive me mad, and none of which I am able to exhibit. I feel like my life is crumbling apart, and everything IN my life is coming to an apex. The combination of the two forces is too much for me to handle.

I saw Goodwill Hunting a few times in the past few days, and Will Hunting has the same complex. The only differences between him and me is, he was brilliant and fictional.

How did I let my life get like this? Seriously, how inept of a person can I be...to have this kind of outlook on life? How can I be this much of a failure?

The funny thing is...I'm *not* a failure...at least, it appears as such. But I am, and I don't want to sway anyone's theory otherwise.

I wish there was a way to go back in time. I have so many regrets right now, it's amazing. I'm living the bizarro world of what I want to live.

And you know what the strange part is? Ten years ago, I thought about where I'd be ten years from then.

And I envisioned this.

And I never stopped it from happening.

(Sorry to bring down the life of whomever reads this.)


(Hell, who am I kidding? Nobody reads this.)