The Blog O' Incoherence

Isn't it amazing when people dream about having X-ray vision on shows, and it always shows them looking at chicks in their underwear?

Dude, if you had x-ray vision, you'd be looking at their bones and stuff! You wouldn't be checking out them out to hit on them; you'd be checking them out to ensure that milk really did their body good!

Whassup wit dat?

The W/E Network is starting back up, and will be coming to wreck chat rooms near you.

If you're down with the W/E Network, please add a comment, or send me an IM (Super Comey).

Well, some interesting developments from tonight:

Super Comey: Yo, Suzie, want to enjoy a great joke with me at a later time?
voranXIAS: Uh, okay.
Super Comey: Gunnar's girlfriend is a riot.
Super Comey: And the next time I speak with her and you're online, I'd like you to write up a written history of anime to send her in little bits.
Super Comey: And basically drive her nuts.
Super Comey: Not that anime's bad, but I doubt she's into it.
voranXIAS: Ummm. Okay. I'm not sure exactly what you'd want me to write. Anime has existed since the 50s.
Super Comey: Right. Cover everything you want to.
Super Comey: Be as descriptive and as long-winded as you'd like.
Super Comey: The more descriptive you are, the more she'll get pissed and flip out at you/me.
voranXIAS: Instead of history of anime, I have a much better, much more long-winded idea.
Super Comey: What's that...the history of my jokes?
voranXIAS: I'll deconstruct some of the most complex anime of all time.
Super Comey: Oh man. You've gotten good!
voranXIAS: And I don't want to write it ahead of time, I want to send it all to you piece-by-piece.
voranXIAS: It will be funnier that way, trust me.
voranXIAS: Because I can react to what she's saying and get what annoys her most.
Super Comey: Actually, I wanted you to send it to her, when she's on. But I found out she won't be on for awhile, so you have a long time to prepare this.
voranXIAS: I'm an incredibly fast typist, so I should be fine.
Super Comey: This would make you an honorary Idiot.
Super Comey: Because I can't think of anything funnier right now.
Super Comey: And you doing this would be excellent.
voranXIAS: Don't worry, I have the anime I'm thinking of memorized in my head.
voranXIAS: I don't need to prepare.
Super Comey: Giddyup.
voranXIAS: Does this mean I could bring my idiot otaku from tA into WR4I? Pleaseeee?
voranXIAS: I haven't had a place to annoy everyone with anime inside references and make fun of myself and people I know in a long time.
Super Comey: This could happen. We'll see.
voranXIAS: Okay.
voranXIAS: Well, let me know next time she's online. Hopefully not Saturday night while I'm busy being scared by Bort.
Super Comey: This could be August.
voranXIAS: Well, that's a long, long time.
Super Comey: Which is why I said we have time to prepare.
Super Comey: But it'll make it even funnier.
voranXIAS: I thought you meant like a week.
voranXIAS: It doesn't matter, but it's fine. Oh, this is even better.
Super Comey: Because we got into an argument last night, which I completely won because she screwed up. The minute I see her again, I'm going to bring it right back up, and then introduce you as my guest.
voranXIAS: August is literally right after I come back from Otakon.
voranXIAS: Which is where my geek batteries get recharged with TONS AND TONS of useless, annoying facts.
Super Comey: Holy crap, I'm really laughing over here.
Super Comey: I have something to look forward to.
voranXIAS: Don't worry, I'll be plenty annoying. I've killed many a chat room with anime and Japanese wrestling talk (oh my god, I should talk about that too, that annoys people even more than the anime talk sometimes).
Super Comey: Gunnar said she's into hentai, if that counts.
Super Comey: I don't believe it does.
voranXIAS: I could break into a rant about how Kenji Mutoh is killing the long and storied tradition of All Japan Pro Wrestling by booking useless gaijin to go over established talent, rant about how they can't even run the Budokan anymore, and talk about how they need to alter the style.
voranXIAS: Hentai is technically anime, although in my opinion it's disgusting anime with no artistic worth.
voranXIAS: OH MY GOD. I could annoy her even more if I give a million different reasons why hentai is not really anime.
voranXIAS: Hentai people HATE, HATE, HATE when non-hentai people say that in the general anime fan community. I mean, they go fucking nuts.
Super Comey: That's *great*.
voranXIAS: I debated that with one guy at AnimeNext last year and I'm dead serious, we almost got into an actual physical fight.
Super Comey: Well, you're a geek, and geek beats nerd like rock beats scissors.
voranXIAS: Hehehe.
Super Comey: This may make it into my Blog.
voranXIAS: Geeks generally have friends too, nerds don't. ;-)
voranXIAS: So he probably would have lost that fight.
Super Comey: Nerds just get revenge in 1982.

I told Farrah Whitworth-Rahn this evening that my Blog is generally for random crap.

Not so, right now.

What I wonder is...how often do you, the reader, feel ignored? I feel ignored constantly. Tonight, I left the OOTP boards because, among other things, I generally end a thread. That may seem silly, and it may be. But it seems like, whenever I jump into a conversation, that conversation dies because I entered it.

I hate that feeling. In fact, it's the worst feeling in the world to me.

And I feel it all the time. It absolutely kills my will to be productive, and I wonder if it's part of the reason why I don't have a job.

I only have a couple of friends--Em, Woody, Tanya, Brandy, Mike...and I have my kids, who listen to me (most of the time).

Other than that, nobody listens. It's rather ironic that I have a Blog that nobody reads. Heck, even Farrah signed off in the middle of me typing something to her (if she ever reads this, I am not offended. I know you're busy and have a life, and I completely understand that. I just found it amusing, given the content of this writing.)

Is this just supposed to be expected? Does nobody listen to anyone else? Does nobody pay attention? Is this why psychiatrists get paid so much freakin money, because it gives someone a person to talk to?

I don't get it, but my confidence feels rather crushed right now. I'm not looking for a pick-me-up, or anything like that.

It's my Blog. It may be for random crap, but it's also for rants like these, regardless if nobody reads it.

Andy Kaufman (1949-84, 2004-?)

Andy Kaufman, alive and well, starts his own Blog

This is amazing. I mean it. The end of "Man on the Moon" was perfect, because it always left you questioning whether or not Andy Kaufman would really come back. Zmuda was perfect to do that.

And now...well, you've got to wonder.

That...is a genius. Twenty years after he left the world's focus, he's still here, very alive in our minds. People all over the place are wondering if he's back. He has a blog, www.andykaufmanreturns.blogspot.com , in which "Andy" is posting regularly.

The fact that people held a welcome-back party because he said that, if he were faking cancer and his death in 1984, he'd return twenty years later...wow. I'm not sure if ANY comedian could have that kind of control over his audience.

Then again, if you were to listen to Andy Kaufman, you'd believe he wasn't a comedian.

This has made my day. It makes me believe that some people ARE human, after all.

I really want to believe this, and despite me being a pessimist, I think I will.

Thanks, Mr. Kaufman.

Remember when Ruben Mateowas the next big outfielder in baseball?

Yeah, he's now 26, he just got called up to the Pirates, when JJ Davis went on the DL. He's never appeared in more than 74 games, and outside of a .291 stint in 2000, has never hit above .256.

What's up with that?

Straight out of Gunnar's House, a classic from back in the day:

Ike: kenny called me a bad choice
me: You're not a bad choice.
Ike: thanks comey
me: You're the product of a bad choice.

You know, the 60s were a really scary time. According to the Law & Order of its time, people dressed up in masks and costumes all over the place, and tried to scare people away from things that would implicate them in crimes.

Could you imagine seeing these people running around in costumes? If it weren't for those meddling kids and that talking dog, these problems may still exist today!

Thank you, Scooby Doo, for making this world a much better place to live. I mean, in a world that has Iraq, Afghanistan, constant development of nuclear weapons, rampant unemployment, widespread hunger, disease, and ridiculous ignorance in the world...it's refreshing to know we as a society don't have to walk the streets looking out for masked ghouls, Indians, casino showboat ghosts, and other assorted Halloween felons running around scaring us. We owe thanks to these vigilanties...these four tripping pals and their talking dog, and his special guest friends, like Don Knotts, Josie and the Pussycats, that one group that was exactly the same as Scooby Doo, only they had a talking car instead of a dog, and Batman and Robin.

If it weren't for them driving around in their flowery van that smelled like happiness and stumbled upon treachery and milkshake shops run by people who sound too much alike to not be related...we'd live in a world too scary to go out in.

In another note...according to this show, almost every male sound like Casey Kasem in the 1960s. That's equally as frightening.

Want to know what bothers me?

That freakin 897 in my Blog template, that's what.

What gives with that? I feel like my Blog is sponsored by American Eagle Outfitters, or Old Navy. Why do you toss random numbers in there? At least let me pick the numbers. I sure as hell wouldn't have picked 8, 9, or 7, in any order.

If anyone wants to make a template, I'll gladly display it and shill for you at every turn. I'm a great shill. Ask Spears. It's why he's still alive. See for yourself:

Super Comey: Isn't my shilling why you're still alive?
adequaterock: That and my monster desire both to get out of Texas and to see if a girl has interest in me.
Super Comey: Dude, just say yes.
adequaterock: Yes. John, your shilling is my only reason for living

See?!

Had my first baseball game in two years last night. We lost 12-8. I didn't see any time, partly because my contract wasn't in and I didn't have a uniform.

Okay, that's mostly why.

Anyway, I'm pitching on Friday night, against Penbrook, which happens to be my former team. That will be ridiculously interesting, and I'm trying not to psyche myself out about it. Chances are, I'll be okay...but then again, whenever I say that, I'm generally not.

My goal against Penbrook is to limit them to one base-runner per inning. If I do that, and the defense plays well...we'll be fine.

I did throw on the side last night, and felt pretty good in doing so. I threw about 30 pitches, and threw everything I have, save for the forkball, which may or may not work. The change-up has been the biggest thing, as that has really worked well so far. So, I'm pleased on that end.

I have practice tonight, and that will definitely be interesting, to say the least. I won't say why, in case any of my kids read this. I don't want to tip my hand. But it will be different from what they're expecting.

I got nothin else. Time to go get lunch.

My trip to Los Angeles is about over. Let's think about what I've done or seen:

- Saw an incredibly hot chick on the flight. She also had a damn Blackberry, Smartphone, and olive green mp3 player...as well as her own driver for an Escalade.
- Saw an old man wearing a Dogfather shirt. I'm a little surprised it wasn't Doggfather, but it was definitely in the font of Snoop Dogg. And he was old.
- Saw an old woman wearing a Comic Relief 5 shirt.
- Saw Fred Willard. Played softball with him.
- I hit a home run and had the game-winning hit as part of a 5-for-8, 5-rbi day.
- Had pizza that would actually be considered edible back home.
- Saw the turncoat from The Matrix (the guy who throws his phone in the garbage can, allowing the agents to pick them off) at the pizza place we ate at.
- Saw Jim and Sally graduate from USC (I did not see Mark Prior).
- I've thought about my basketball team an awful lot, and about the changes I plan on making when we get back together.
- I got a Phillies hat, and got sunburn on my ears.
- I swam.

Good time. But I can't wait to get home.

Gah, I hate the Lakers.

I have to give them credit though. I wrote them off for dead after Game 2, and was quite vocal about it. The Spurs just looked hungrier, and played together better than the Lakers were.

I guess the Spurs would have went as far as Tony Parker was going to take them. It's a shame he only took them to Game 2. But the Lakers stepped up, and their role players, something they still have a definite lack of, did the job when needed.

I'm guessing Derek Fisher's game-winner basically was the final poked hole in the Spurs' balloon. They looked defeated in Game Six, even when the game was being played. The only ones who didn't have their heads up their asses were Manu and Tim Duncan. But the team definitely did not look like they were in the game--something I had said about the Lakers in Game 2.

Oh well. Here's pulling for Minnesota or Sacramento. Congrats Los Angeles, from someone whose opinion doesn't matter to you.