10.03.2003
It turns out that the mayor of New York, Michael Blomberg, got turned down for a Sears card. He has an estimated value of $5 billion. And he got turned down. Thank God I hate tools and third-rate tennis shoes, or I'd be screwed.
I also found this:
::In July, retired developer Bill Martin, 65, announced that he has agreed to buy a dilapidated park near Hudson, Fla., and convert it from its former use as a racially segregated nudist camp into a nonsegregated, Christian-themed nudist resort. Said Martin, "Body shame is an indicator of our alienation from God, self and others. It is a bondage from hell and, according to the Bible, a direct result of Satan's deception." [St. Petersburg Times, 8-1-03] ::
This confirms my theory that GAP is just the minions of Satan. I wonder...what would happen if a hot chick showed up? Any married man that brings his wife to this place, and sees a hot chick...well, he's going to hell. He can't hide it in his pants, can he? And I'm sure the wife would know that it's not about her, unless she were ultra-hot.
Yeah, this place should be a reality show on CWTN, after that nun speaks. It could rival Joe Millionaire 2, that's for sure.
More coming later...
I also found this:
::In July, retired developer Bill Martin, 65, announced that he has agreed to buy a dilapidated park near Hudson, Fla., and convert it from its former use as a racially segregated nudist camp into a nonsegregated, Christian-themed nudist resort. Said Martin, "Body shame is an indicator of our alienation from God, self and others. It is a bondage from hell and, according to the Bible, a direct result of Satan's deception." [St. Petersburg Times, 8-1-03] ::
This confirms my theory that GAP is just the minions of Satan. I wonder...what would happen if a hot chick showed up? Any married man that brings his wife to this place, and sees a hot chick...well, he's going to hell. He can't hide it in his pants, can he? And I'm sure the wife would know that it's not about her, unless she were ultra-hot.
Yeah, this place should be a reality show on CWTN, after that nun speaks. It could rival Joe Millionaire 2, that's for sure.
More coming later...
Ok, read this news piece from Lords of Pain:
::"Macho Man" Randy Savage continues the promotion of his new rap album with a piece in Rolling Stones magazine this month. Here is what is written in the article:
"The only person I'm calling out is Hulk Hogan," says "Macho Man" Randy Savage, who snaps into "Hollywood" Hulk like a Slim Jim on his new hip-hop CD, Be A Man. "We're the Ja Rule and 50 Cent of wrestling. And I'm 50."::
What's worse:
A) that Macho Man is doing a rap album (something Scott Keith said he'd have to be *really* drunk to review, because just regular drunkeness doesn't do it justice)
B) that Macho Man knows who's who in the rap business
C) that he makes fun of Ja Rule
If you said C, you're right. When you're a rap star, like this guy:
and you're getting ripped by a guy who peddled Slim Jims and in his prime looked like this:
Well...you should just call it a career now. Maybe go into being a rap battle analyst on ESPN2 or VH1 or something...but man, when you get made fun of by the one guy who has no business making fun of you...you're done.
On the same token, if Savage likens Hogan to Ja Rule, then we have the following:
Jennifer Lopez:
Ashanti, shown here with "Ja Rule", showing everyone what REALLY goes on at Murder Inc:
And who can forget Irv Gotti:
Oh, and if Lopez is above, let's hit up her boyfriend, Ben Affleck, who is again with Ja Rule (the slut):
And, who can forget his buddy, Matt Damon (with unidentified man)?
Oh, and by the way...these two pictures are just too funny:
::"Macho Man" Randy Savage continues the promotion of his new rap album with a piece in Rolling Stones magazine this month. Here is what is written in the article:
"The only person I'm calling out is Hulk Hogan," says "Macho Man" Randy Savage, who snaps into "Hollywood" Hulk like a Slim Jim on his new hip-hop CD, Be A Man. "We're the Ja Rule and 50 Cent of wrestling. And I'm 50."::
What's worse:
A) that Macho Man is doing a rap album (something Scott Keith said he'd have to be *really* drunk to review, because just regular drunkeness doesn't do it justice)
B) that Macho Man knows who's who in the rap business
C) that he makes fun of Ja Rule
If you said C, you're right. When you're a rap star, like this guy:
and you're getting ripped by a guy who peddled Slim Jims and in his prime looked like this:
Well...you should just call it a career now. Maybe go into being a rap battle analyst on ESPN2 or VH1 or something...but man, when you get made fun of by the one guy who has no business making fun of you...you're done.
On the same token, if Savage likens Hogan to Ja Rule, then we have the following:
Jennifer Lopez:
Ashanti, shown here with "Ja Rule", showing everyone what REALLY goes on at Murder Inc:
And who can forget Irv Gotti:
Oh, and if Lopez is above, let's hit up her boyfriend, Ben Affleck, who is again with Ja Rule (the slut):
And, who can forget his buddy, Matt Damon (with unidentified man)?
Oh, and by the way...these two pictures are just too funny:
10.02.2003
Welcome back.
You know what fast food place they should have come back? Hot N Now.
Their burgers weren't the best, but you could go down there with TWO FREAKIN DOLLARS, and walk out with 4 burgers and three orders of fries. I mean...you can't get that kind of value. And, for someone as poor as me right now, you need someone like Hot N Now to deliver the goods.
Also, who thinks that The Mullets is four years overdue? That's not to say it should be on television...even UPN has standards, sort of. But weren't mullets in four years ago? Maybe UPN is now just catering to the white trash market now...maybe they feel that they can reach that demographic, since "Friends" and "Fraiser" is comedy that you may not talk about in trailer parks.
And what the hell is J. Peterman doing on this show? I can understand Lonnie Anderson, because her real claim to fame is WKRP in Cincinnati...but J. Peterman? What in the hell?!
Okay, wrestling has sunk to new lows. They're going to run a storyline that revolves around Eddie Guerrero giving Big Show diarrhea. What? I don't get that...and ten minutes have passed. Em came home, so I went to see her.
I don't really have anything else to say right now. So, that's about it.
-John
You know what fast food place they should have come back? Hot N Now.
Their burgers weren't the best, but you could go down there with TWO FREAKIN DOLLARS, and walk out with 4 burgers and three orders of fries. I mean...you can't get that kind of value. And, for someone as poor as me right now, you need someone like Hot N Now to deliver the goods.
Also, who thinks that The Mullets is four years overdue? That's not to say it should be on television...even UPN has standards, sort of. But weren't mullets in four years ago? Maybe UPN is now just catering to the white trash market now...maybe they feel that they can reach that demographic, since "Friends" and "Fraiser" is comedy that you may not talk about in trailer parks.
And what the hell is J. Peterman doing on this show? I can understand Lonnie Anderson, because her real claim to fame is WKRP in Cincinnati...but J. Peterman? What in the hell?!
Okay, wrestling has sunk to new lows. They're going to run a storyline that revolves around Eddie Guerrero giving Big Show diarrhea. What? I don't get that...and ten minutes have passed. Em came home, so I went to see her.
I don't really have anything else to say right now. So, that's about it.
-John
10.01.2003
Okay jokers, high-speed internet has come back into my life full time. The nice thing about this is that I have a wireless connection, meaning I don't have to take any ridiculous amount of cables with me. I downloaded Stairway to Heaven in 37 seconds today, which is just ridiculous. I'm a happy man.
Anyway, I have some pictures to post from my cross-country trip. I forgot to get some pictures with Jay Froude, and I think that sucks. But I do have pictures with Jarrod and Jeremy, and I'll post those soon.
To update my life, I'm getting married in one month and one week (November 9th, actually). I don't have a job right now, outside of my .400 Studios internship. Em and I are living together at her grandfather's house. It's just the two of us (he lives in an assisted-living village, not that he needs it, but it's easier for him, I guess). We got cable television for the first time as a couple, as we didn't have that in Los Angeles. I can tell you...THANK GOD. Holy crap, there's only so much DVDs I can watch. I was prepared to listen to webcasts of ESPN Radio or Sporting News Radio, stuff I love...but there was a deal on the cable net for cable subscribers. I'm very glad we went with that.
The Family Guy DVD sets, both of them...must have. I have both, and they're incredible.
The anticipation of the new connection has actually made me more creative. I've written more ABL articles in the past four days than I have in the past month and a half, and I'm very, very thrilled about that. I have a broken foot, and maybe that helps me write too...since I can't run, I can write. I guess that helps.
I don't really have anything funny to write about right now. So, here comes some pictures.
First off, I met up with The Passin Assassin:
We played wiffle ball in the Chili's parking lot:
I also met up with Jarrod (here with Em's brother, seated):
Em and I had a good moment here:
Finally, what would it be without some toughguy pictures?
I'll have more later on, probably just some random idiocy. But, then again, that's what you've all come to expect from me.
Anyway, I have some pictures to post from my cross-country trip. I forgot to get some pictures with Jay Froude, and I think that sucks. But I do have pictures with Jarrod and Jeremy, and I'll post those soon.
To update my life, I'm getting married in one month and one week (November 9th, actually). I don't have a job right now, outside of my .400 Studios internship. Em and I are living together at her grandfather's house. It's just the two of us (he lives in an assisted-living village, not that he needs it, but it's easier for him, I guess). We got cable television for the first time as a couple, as we didn't have that in Los Angeles. I can tell you...THANK GOD. Holy crap, there's only so much DVDs I can watch. I was prepared to listen to webcasts of ESPN Radio or Sporting News Radio, stuff I love...but there was a deal on the cable net for cable subscribers. I'm very glad we went with that.
The Family Guy DVD sets, both of them...must have. I have both, and they're incredible.
The anticipation of the new connection has actually made me more creative. I've written more ABL articles in the past four days than I have in the past month and a half, and I'm very, very thrilled about that. I have a broken foot, and maybe that helps me write too...since I can't run, I can write. I guess that helps.
I don't really have anything funny to write about right now. So, here comes some pictures.
First off, I met up with The Passin Assassin:
We played wiffle ball in the Chili's parking lot:
I also met up with Jarrod (here with Em's brother, seated):
Em and I had a good moment here:
Finally, what would it be without some toughguy pictures?
I'll have more later on, probably just some random idiocy. But, then again, that's what you've all come to expect from me.
